I know, it sounds ridiculous, but it is true:
All I Want for Christmas is An Ironing Board
I know what you are thinking: An ironing board? Seriously? I hate ironing.
I know. I gotcha.
You see, I hate ironing too. But, I started thinking about it the other day and realized something.
You know when you get a new car and all you want to do is sit in it and drive it around?
You see, it goes something like this:
You are sitting around the house and say to your sweetie, “Hey, I forgot we don’t have any butter. I am gonna run to the store!”
Off you go, You open the door to that car – smell that new car smell. Oh my.
There are absolutely no cheerios, old papers, or sippy cups in this baby! You don’t even have to sweep off the seat before you sit down.
You put on your seat belt carefully, and feel the sleek leather under your legs. You reach up to feel the smooth steering wheel.
Turn the key. Wow!
You hear the gentle roar of the motor.
And, off you go!
Sure, you had three pounds of butter in the freezer, but as you turn down the road out of the neighborhood and roll down the windows, it doesn’t matter anymore. You could drive this car all day long!
It’s like that fantastic new hair cut you got last month. You loved washing your hair. It was so fun to style. You kept going back to the bathroom to look in the mirror and were constantly amazed at how great you looked! Even when you were driving, you kept sneaking peeks at the new hairstyle. You couldn’t wait to show your friends. You felt renewed!!
So, are you catching on yet? Here is my reasoning:
This is how I want ironing to go at my house:
I see the board out of the corner of my eye as I wake up to get cereal on the table in the morning. Oh, my!
I secretly plug in the iron right before I jump in the shower, and set up the ironing board in my bedroom where I can see it in the bathroom mirror.
You see, I had to secretly plug in the iron because of what happened the night before. I refer to it as
“Honey, I have noticed you have been spending an inordinate amount of time ironing lately.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Well…were you actually ironing the girls’ barbie clothes yesterday?”
“Sweetheart, that is ridiculous! Don’t you think I have enough things to do around here? I don’t have time to do silly things like that.”
“Well, I am just concerned…”
“It’s not a problem, honey. I can stop anytime I want…”
Sometimes men just don’t understand. You see, Barbie has needs too.
I just can’t wait to use that ironing board. It is so sleek. It’s lines are so beautiful. It even smells new. You know, how new fabric smells. Oh!
I lay out all my clothes on the bed. Even the ones I ironed yesterday.
Sometimes I even dream of sleeping on that new ironing board. You see, a new ironing board could make my life so much better – seriously. I can only dream!
Yep, I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true. That ironing board could make all my dreams come true.
So, if this really works, I am thinking of getting my husband a brand spanking new garbage can for Christmas!
Our Christmas is gonna be awesome this year!!