Mirror, Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?
We all know the story. It is the story of Snow White, a beautiful young girl who was the fairest in the kingdom. It is the story of an evil Queen who wanted to be the most beautiful maid in the land. In the process of trying to capture what she is denied, the evil Queen brings about her own destruction.
For me, it is a story of the stark difference between gratitude and ingratitude. It is a lesson in learning to love what and who you are versus feeling jealous and angry because you do not have everything you want. Although Snow White is not my favorite of the princess stories, I do think there is a lesson there for us all to learn.
Who is the fairest…?
If you truly want to be miserable, here is one small thing that will get you there every time:
Focus on what you do not have.
I would bet we have each been there at some point. We have each been the Queen in the story. I know I have.
It is easy to see what we don’t have. We normalize the things we have been given pretty quickly. It happens after you fall in love. It happens after you buy something new. You get used to it. Suddenly, it doesn’t have the same “pop” of excitement as before. So, then, our natural tendency is to start to look at new things, exciting things, things you do not have. Suddenly, you notice your neighbor’s new furniture. Your friend has a new hairstyle. Your sister-in-law always has new clothes. You want those things. You need those things.
When we focus on these things, we prevent ourselves from enjoying the moment, from enjoying the beauty of what we do have.
When we focus on what we do not have we become:
unhappy, less social, insecure, competitive, envious, materialistic, pessimistic and self-centered.
When you focus on what you do not have, you are more likely to have:
more superficial relationships, lower self-esteem, lower resilience, and less spiritual connection
In my work, I see all the time this tendency. When we focus on what we do not have, we become consumed with pity, sadness, and jealousy. We are overwhelmed with it. It colors our thinking and prevents us from enjoying all that we do have.
There is deep meaning and great joy in gratitude.
Focus on those things that you do have. Make a list. Write it down.
Here are a few things I am grateful for:
I will write another post on the benefits of gratitude soon. If you are curious right now, here is a great article on the benefits of gratitude.
So, until then, instead of thinking about what you do not have, think about this:
Be grateful. Be beautiful. Create happiness.
Elizabeth
Latest posts by Elizabeth (see all)
- Reverence During Church? Five Tips and a Giveaway - September 2, 2016
- Out of the Ashes: When We Grieve - May 11, 2016
- To All of Us on Mother’s Day - May 7, 2016
I am guilty of ingratitude every day. I am easily frustrated when things do not go my way. I know I have a lot, but I always focus on everything I could have that is so much “better”. Thank you for the reminder and for spreading good through your blog, Elizabeth!
Charlee Anne recently posted…Our First Date and Cornflake Casserole
Thanks, Charlee. I know it is something I have to make a conscious effort for. Have a beautiful day!
Loved this post! So true! I will always need that reminder!:)
Thanks Cheryl! And, thanks for stopping by. Have a great day!
You are SO right! I keep a gratitude journal to help me remember all the good things in my life. Great post!
Lana recently posted…My Favorite Books – The Devil Wears Prada
Love gratitude journals!! Such a great way to keep up the positivity! Thanks for visiting Lana!
It’s funny how I was just having these thoughts recently as we settle into our new house and I was finding myself comparing what we had to others and wanting more things to make it “better” and realizing it wasn’t about the physical features but how we made it a home. Thank you for linking up to the Bloggers Brags Pinterest Party. I have pinned your post to the Bloggers Brags Pinterest board.
Carie Spence recently posted…Asian Pear & Berry Tart
Excellent reminder! I have so much to be thankful for and that’s what I should spent my time dwelling on, not things I wish were different.
Thanks Deanna! I need to work on this. I guess a little reminder always helps!
You are right. We all experience this at times. And it is a night and day difference in how we feel depending on if we practicing gratitude or ingratitude. We should never taken anything we have for granted. No matter what we might be working toward, we should always be thankful and celebrate what we have.Thanks for the wonderful reminder. Have a beautiful day!
Topaz @ The Art of a Beautiful Life recently posted…Remembering Who You Are
Thanks Topaz! You are such an inspiration. What a great way to start my day with your sweet comment and tweet!! Have a beautiful day!
How interesting that you just posted this. We went over to a friend’s house last night and loved everything about their house. I got MAJOR house envy and was feeling that ours was inadequate as it is. Thanks for the reminder. Comparison is the thief of joy! Thank you so much for sharing on the Merry Monday Linky Party! We hope you will join us next week. – Treana from http://houseofbennetts.com
Treana B recently posted…Colorado Bridal Shower: Tea Time
Thanks Treana. Isn’t is funny how quickly envy and comparison creep in? I have to work on this! Have a beautiful day! Thanks for stopping by!
I am so thankful for what I have. Life is so good. Thanks for sharing with Creative Style!
April recently posted…Introducing Chobani® Greek Yogurt Smoothies only at #SmoothieKing
Isn’t life good? We do have so many wonderful blessings. Thanks for stopping by!
Pingback: Mother-Son Relationship: Daily Prayer Time - Beautiful Ashes
Your site is great! I’ve pinned this post and am following you on G+. Thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting. You are a no-reply blogger so I couldn’t email you directly back. But I appreciate it! If you want to change your status you can follow this tutorial from Fluster Buster: http://www.flusterbuster.com/2013/02/are-you-no-reply-blogger.html
Have a wonderful week!
Heaven recently posted…Jesus the Christ: A Family Study
Thank you Heaven for pointing that out! I didn’t realize. I will check out that link and glad you stopped over today!